Don’t really feel like blogging…don’t really feel like doing anything for that matter… But I have about 30 minutes to kill and I refuse to do another millimeter of work!

This week is dragging out for ever… lingering…. Killing me softly… I need a weekend, no; actually a week would be better!

Going camping this weekend…yum yum… (not!!) Usually I’d be looking forward to roughing it… but geez, I’m tired, I’m in pain, and frankly, I’ve got better things to do! I’ve got nothing against anyone or anything that’s going with… could just do with a relaxing weekend at home, sleeping in my own bed, with my own pillow, waking up to the sound of my mom making me tea… a blissful, heavenly thought. But seeing that I’m “one of the boys” (apparently) I have no other choice than dragging along and pretending to be enjoying it. I’m gonna take a fishing rod…there’s an idea… that’ll keep me occupied for most of the time…

It’s funny how people’s behavior towards you starts changing when you stop jumping when they say “jump”! I’ve come to realize that the last couple of days. Just a thought…

On second thought, I’m gonna leave the office now… so what if it’s 15 minutes early….they’ll survive…

They say it’s in times of need that you start realizing who your true friends really are. They are the ones who’d stand by you through thick and thin. They are the ones who know you better than you know yourself. The ones who are “tuned into your frequency” so finely, that they know when something’s wrong, without you having to tell them.

What has happened to those friends of mine? I started spring cleaning my life this weekend…and now there’s nothing (no-one) left.

Dear friends,
Do you know that my dad has been in hospital since Saturday and that things are not looking good? It’s worsening to the extent that not enough blood is reaching his brain.
Do you know that I spent most of my time since Saturday at the hospital, even though I’m also sick as a dog, but can’t afford to stay home incase something happens to my dad?
Do you know that I’ve been trying since Saturday to find someone to comfort me, but no one is listening?
Do you know that my cell phone has been off for the last 2 days, and no one seems to notice?
Do you know about the wheel I burst on the highway in peek traffic?
Do you know that when you get upset with people because they can’t see your pain, they turn around and tell you to stop using them as punch bags?
Do you know that when you take someone on, they tell you to “vlieg in jou moer in”?
Do you know that I broke up with the guy from the Cape, because there’s only room for one person in his life, and that’s himself?
Do you know that I have had ENOUGH… but then again…WHO CARES??????????????

"Shallow men believe in luck...Strong men believe in cause and effect..."

So they broke into my dad’s house and our offices last night. By my “tone of voice” you can gather that I’m not really upset/surprised/mad… or anything. Nah, I’m getting so used to it, it’s not even funny anymore. Luckily the alarm went off and the suckers got a fright and ran away. My dad’s briefcase is still lying in the garden. We’re not allowed to touch it and see if anything’s missing, cause they haven’t taken finger prints yet (they phoned at 10am, and said they were “on their way”…I wonder if they’re coming from Durban?)

One of my friends emailed me this morning, asking what I regard as “my purpose on this earth”. It kinda got me thinking. I haven’t come up with anything yet. Hmmm… Maybe I’m not as special and invincible as I thought. Maybe there was just a few “human spares” left, and so it was put together to form me. Interesting concept…

I wonder if you’re considered to be a “bad person” if you thrive on revenge. As soon as I get hurt or feel like I’m not being treated fairly, I start plotting these thoughts in my head…knowing that I won’t feel better until I’ve… well, I can’t really say until I’ve taken revenge, cause more times than none, the other person usually doesn’t know about it…but at least it makes me feel better. How can I explain this…? Let’s just say “if they find out about it”, they’ll be…well, hurt I suppose… I guess this doesn’t quite make sense to you? Don’t fret, I know what I mean. I’m in one of “those” moods again today. Feel like I have to…do something… Just don’t know what yet…

I’m gonna go feed myself now…feed myself to the lions…hahaha. Just kidding, I’m hungry. Feel a Wimpy breakfast coming up (12:54 pm).

“When I look into the future, it’s so bright it burns my eye…”

(I wish)

Wednesday…or little Saturday (what a dumb term).

Went to the drive-in last night, thus didn’t get nearly enough sleep. Got impatient with the maid cause she was late for work this morning, then I realized… “Hey, the maid doesn’t work on a Wednesday”. Sigh…yeah; I was convinced it was Thursday. But alas!

It’s been another hectic day! Two days in a row, my study-plans just didn’t work out… I did a full chapter this morning…the idea was to revise at least 6! Oh well, nothing much I can do about it.

Weirdly enough, it hasn’t rained today. It ALWAYS rains on the 1st of September…or if it doesn’t rain, it’s still damn cold. Why do I figure that? Well, Spring-day at school is casual day. When we for one day, leave the smurfie socks and uniforms in the closet, and wear “civies” (alias civilian clothing). It used to be a big deal back then. “What are you gonna wear?” was the topic of discussion right through the month of August. And then, came September, everyone was braving the day in their skimpy new summer outfits…and froze to death the whole day. Fun fun fun…brings back memories…

I’m so tired, I can’t even think in English today… guess I’d better stop now… Yeah, I’m gonna go home and sleep…

Wait wait wait…one last thing… I told mr “Capie” that next weekend is the only weekend I can come visit him this month. If that doesn’t suit him, he’ll have to wait till the 3rd weekend in October; only then will I be available then. Would love to see his reaction. I know he was considering going to visit his folks that weekend…so I’m quite curious to see where I fit in his list of “priorities”…

That’s all for now…