Whoever invented Mondays should be dragged into the street and shot!

I had a very eventful weekend. Too eventful actually, which explains why I am half asleep at this stage (12:06 pm).

Saturday we had a surprise party for my grandmother on her 80th birthday. Unfortunately, the surprise was on us…! I have come to the realization that I don’t want to grow old. I just want to go to sleep one day in my mid 50’s and never wake up again. (Which is a scary thought; because that’s the age my mom and dad are at now). Just imagine not being able to bath or eat on your own, not recognizing your own children, telling the same story over and over again, because your short term memory is not functioning sharply anymore.
We went to a lovely game farm near Rust de Winter, and managed to hide the whole family until my aunt arrived with my grandma. Then we snuck up behind her and sang “Happy Birthday”. She just sat there…not realizing that we were singing to her. Then she commented that we must be confused, because her birthday was on Thursday and today was Saturday. Shame, she was so overwhelmed the whole day – she didn’t even want to open her presents. Apparently only about an hour after the party, she finally realized that the whole party was actually for her… That is just so sad!! But other than that, the day was quite cool. It is one of the most peaceful places I have ever been to. One of those moments that’s actually wasted if you have no one to share the splendor with…*sigh* It’s so beautiful it’s actually depressing…

Sunday I took my brother and mother to Sun City for the day. The flight there took forever (we had a strong headwind and were not doing much more than 78knots). We had a “near-hit” near Brits, because some clown was not acknowledging Jhb info’s “Do you have the traffic in sight?” questions. Luckily I saw him in time and was able to give full power and climb from 6500” to 6800” in a record time! The flight back was quite challenging. We had a hell-uva tailwind…but from the side… So we were doing about 110 knots, but battling to stay on track. When we were on final approach for 29, the wind was gusting 20 knots. Amazingly, I had one of my best landings yet. My mom didn’t even realize we were already on the ground *grin* I got soooo sunburnt! But it’s my own stupidity…I live under this illusion that my skin is tough and I don’t need any suntan lotion. Once again I have realized that that is not quite the case…

I am starting with my commercial classes again tonight… AT&G…Aircraft technical and general...YUK!! I can already see that I might have to develop some serious illness that lasts from 6pm to 10pm, in order to miss a class or two. *sigh* I don’t care about the technical crap! As long as the aeroplane has enough lift to get off the runway, I am happy.

I have just realized that I have completely lost it. I went to answer the phone, and when I got back to my pc, I put on my sunglasses instead of my reading classes… I don’t think there’s much more I can say…

Today is my last day with my car *sob*. I took her for a proper cleaning session this morning, and right now her wheel alignment is being done… Eish, I’m gonna miss her… so many memories…

I am a terrible blogger! How am I supposed to think clearly if Pieter Smith and Steve Hofmeyr are chanting “Agter elke man” in the background?

Had a nice long weekend…needed the break! Funny enough, the further I’m away from Pta, the further away my problems seem to be. (Which means that I was slightly depressed last night when I arrived back in the Jacaranda city). But it was cool…did a lot of…nothing. My brother was repainting his house, so the place was a mess! I even managed to get myself stuck in the bathroom (did you know that if the door handle is taken off, and you accidentally close the door too far, well…erm…you can’t get out?!!? And seeing that I don’t take my phone with me when I go to the loo, it was quite funny… knock knock knocking on the bathroom’s door….*chuckle*)

I confronted my ex this morning. Everything is sorted out there. We both ended up in tears…okay okay…almost… and parted with a hug… I feel much better now… as everyone who knows me can testify…I can’t handle “unfinished business”. I sometimes drive even myself mad, but I can’t just “let go”. I need to sort it out before I can move on.

I might be getting a new car!!! Woohooooo! Well, almost new…it’s newer than mine at least! My dad wants to trade his in for a 2.5 turbo…which means I can upgrade from a 2L to a 2L TURBO!! Will have to remember to work extra speeding fine money into my budget…

I am having second thoughts about this afternoon’s cycling episode… My muscles are pretty fragile at this stage… I bought myself one of those “ab-gymnic exercise pants”, and they have been working overtime this weekend… Eish, the price we have to pay for looking perfect *snicker*


Anyhow, time to chaila…

Wooohooo, I’m in a good mood… 2 days and counting… Have forgotten how it feels…

Why is it that when you’ve got all the time on your hands…there’s nothing you want/need to do, but when you have a lot of things you need to do, you just don’t find the time? I am trying to organize a flight down to the coast. Just me, my co-pilot (donno who yet) and the plane… exploring the unknown…getting ourselves into trouble (believe me, with me in the plane, it happens a lot), basically just gaining experience…and of course, having hell-uva lot of fun in the process.

But my weekends are chaos until this time next year!! Okay okay, not that bad, but almost… This weekend I’m going to nelspruit for Easter, next weekend is my grandma’s 80th birthday (I am NOT allowed to miss it…and actually I’m looking forward to it… Note to myself…find an unsuspected innocent PIC to take with…the family can be a bit much if you have to put up with them for too long). The weekend after that I’m most likely going to Mozambique for the farewell party, the weekend after that is the Total rally…and the weekend after that…you’ve guessed it….Mozambique again… Maybe the weekend after that would be a possibility…?

Now where should I go? I was contemplating going to PE…but after being told that it’s an 8 hour flight, I kinda changed my mind… Margate? Apparently that’s a very tricky place to land…if the weather’s not 200% okay, it might be a bit dangerous… Anyways, enough of that…time will tell.

I got an email from Anina this morning… *sigh* I miss her sooooo much!!

I got my car back yesterday… At least it can drive again…but now it’s pulling to the left… and not just a little!! If I take my left hand of the steering wheel to change gears (my right hand was holding my cell-phone…naughty naughty…), the car basically steers into the next lane… Scary stuff!

Okay, enough babble for one day…time to pretend to be working…hey wait a second, I’m the only one at the office…so who’s gonna know? Hmmm…

I have been accused of being a lazy blogger. Sigh…always in trouble. Well, as the saying goes – if you can’t beat them, join them!

I am feeling slightly better. I think my life is almost starting to make sense again. With the emphasis on ALMOST…Meaning – there’s still room for improvement. I spoke to my surfer boy in Mozambique this morning. We are both depressed, because he can’t come down to Pta anytime soon, and my plans to go to Mozambique in 2 weeks are also looking less and less promising by the day. I am invited to a farewell party at the end of the month (no, not invited, TOLD that I WOULD attend…) I love it when people make decisions like that on my behalf… But that’s still so FAR away!! Plus there is the risk of bumping into certain people that I don’t really wanna see (seeing that a certain someone is the brother of the farewell-party-dude, chances of that happening is quite big). But then again… who cares? If she has a problem with me…well, check the worry in my navy blue eyes… She’ll just have to deal with it. Stand in line, b*tch!

I took my car in for a service yesterday. The irony of the whole situation…There was nothing wrong with it…but there is now!! (Note to everyone out there who might be bored enough to read this blog: Stay away from Subaru Pretoria!!!). My car went in for a default service…you know, change all the dirty filters, put in some clean oil…or whatever else it is they do to a car on a service. My instructions were NOT to stuff the car up so badly that the “Check engine” warning comes on when I start the car! So now I’m driving around in my baby again…My little Clio… It’s quite amusing to get back into a 1400, if you’re used to a 2L… (Mental note to myself: Remember that your e-tag is still in the Subaru – don’t try the e-tag only lane at the tollgate on the way home…)

I had breakfast with my bank boy this morning. Hmmm….two times in one week…we’re making progress. First one was just a milkshake, second one breakfast…Nice…wonder what’s in store for “date # 3”. Hey, a girl can dream, okay!

My mom is sick…I hate it when she’s sick. Then she’s all depressed and quiet…and I don’t quite know how to deal with that. I want to get her some “kosmosse” on the way home (No Wessel, it’s NOT called Poppies…), but my PIC is apparently MIA. Go figure…

45 mins till chaila time…heeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! I’m gonna cuddle up in front of the tv, and just do NUTTIN for the rest of the day…can’t wait!!

Monday…Finally…

I used to live for weekends…now I dread them! Two full days…filled with nothing but my thoughts…and I can promise you – that scares the crap out of me! Sure, keeping busy helps…but you can only force yourself to keep occupied for so long…sooner or later you have to come back to reality…

Okay okay, enough moaning… Actually, this weekend was surprisingly painless. Drive-inn on Friday (first show “Something’s gotta give”, Second show….zzzzzzzzzzzzzz), a flight with ZS-MLF on Saturday afternoon (went to Lanseria for a touch and go – it was very weird to sit in the back… argh, I hate not being in control!!) and Presley’s (yeah yeah…don’t ask!) on Saturday eve… it was in fact quite a jol! When I went to bed last night, I was actually disappointed when I realized that it was back to work today.

A 4-day week…not too bad. I was considering going to Mozambique for Easter, but that place is too small on such a long weekend. Not for me, thank you very much. Seeing that my PIC (partner in crime, not pilot in command *grin*) is deserting me to go and play around in the bush, I am considering going to Nelspruit for the weekend. Face it, Pta on a long weekend…majorly boring!!

All stressed out and no one to choke…

I’m not used to writing about things that bothers me. Yeah sure, I have a journal at home, but that is strictly used to remember all the good things…Apparently that doesn’t quite make sense. I was once asked why I kept a journal, if I wasn’t using it for penning down my anger and frustrations. Well, the way I see it: I want to be able to page through my journal in a few months or years – and if I write down all the downbeat happenings I’d just get depressed all over…and how does that make sense?? Then I was told that you’re not supposed to read a journal again – it’s just supposed to be a venting mechanism… someone who’d listen without judging or interfering… Stuff that! Why do I want to let out everything and get nothing back in return? Talk about a loose-loose situation…go figure! So I’ve decided to just…”blog it”. At least now I can amuse/entertain/scare a few people with my obscene outlook on life…

Ever heard the saying “Life is what happens when you’re making other plans”? (Those corny little anecdotes written at the back of sugar packets). I’ve proved that life happens…regardless of whether or not you’ve made plans. It’s inevitable… so why bother anymore? I think they should print something like “Life sucks, get over it” on the sugar…at least that would make sense.

I thought the 20 something’s are supposed to be the best years of your life!?! (There’s another cliché I can live without!) This is what I have learned:

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are
not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis.
But then you realize that maybe they aren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to
your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

So far…no luck…

Warning: You read this blog at own risk. The writer will not be held liable for any alcohol abuse, drug addiction or suicide that may result from reading this blog. Please note that all reference to people (dead or alive), animals, events etc. are NOT fictional (although I can assure you that so far no animals have been harmed in the writing of this blog.) So if your name appears in the blog, it is not by accident – no, it means you have p*ssed me off (and lately that has happened a lot, so you can actually feel pretty honored that I deem you disturbing enough to be mentioned)… Oh shucks, I’m GATVOL!! (Thank you, Leon Schuster).

Hey, I feel better already…and I haven’t even started yet! This is gonna be fun…